What Are You Being Called Into?

Let the caller and the called disappear;
be lost in the Call.

- Rumi

had a triggering meeting this week. I was caught off guard by receiving feedback that I didn’t ask for and was (in my view) based on several incorrect assumptions. The interaction stuck with me, and as I slowed down and felt inside, I noticed a part that was worried: what if this person was right? What if, incorrect assumptions aside, I’m doing everything wrong?

Then, this morning I was walking in a crosswalk to take our daughter to school and someone drove right through the crosswalk AND honked at us! I was livid of course.

These are just the most recent negative experiences I can recall. If I thought about it long enough, I’m sure I could recall many more! But I’m reflecting on these two today because I’m loving how quickly I’ve bounced back and found my center after each one. This has hardly always been the case.

For most of my adult life, socially negative experiences would stick with me for awhile. I now owe my speedy recoveries to learning a different way of responding to slights, failures, and misfortune. And I’m loving how it continues to unfold for me.

I now know I have a meaning-making part inside of me that grabs hold of both positive and negative experiences and tries to place them in a larger narrative. When something unexpectedly good comes along, this part says: ah yes, the universe has your back. Go in peace.

But when something like the triggering meeting or the driver running through the crosswalk happens, this part says something like: the universe is a cold and chaotic place. Don’t suck so hard and watch your back.

Over the past year or so, I’ve been encouraging this part to drop both of those narratives and instead ask: in this moment, what is the universe calling you into? What is available to you right now? This experience is inviting you to open up to something. What is it?

When I relax into these questions, a spaciousness opens up inside of me. When I answer the questions, I notice, for example, that I feel called into slowing down and becoming aware of the triggered parts inside. I’m called into my body, into holding the parts that are worried and angry.

If I can stick with this, then I can notice that there’s a part that doesn’t want to let the memories of this exchange go. I slow down further and ask why. I listen to a part say: if I let these memories go then we might be deluding ourselves and missing some important criticism that can help us be better and avoid such criticism in the future.

I slow down even further and notice another part—like an inner advocate or cheerleader—that wants to “tell the truth and bring receipts.” It explains to my worried part all the evidence that shows how this person’s feedback was misguided and I’m actually doing quite well.

My worried part then starts to relax and let the memories go.

⸺

I think this line of questioning works because it works for the meaning-making part. The questions still assume some overarching narrative—that the universe is doing something: it’s inviting us all into some fuller, more integrated experience of life. In this narrative, the universe is not just a random, cold, chaotic collection of matter. It has a direction.

The truth of this assumption is totally beside the point. What matters is its results. Every time I lean into the question of what the universe is calling me into, I feel drawn inside toward more presence, connection, and authenticity.

I wonder if it could work the same for you? The next time something troubling bursts into your life, try asking: what am I being called into?