Do You Trust the Universe?
I am large, I contain multitudes.
- Walt Whitman
What I love about parts work (Internal Family Systems) is that it gets me out of the trap that such a question sets. Do I trust the universe? Which “I” are you talking to? As Walt Whitman intuited long before parts work was around, there are many parts to this “I.”
I notice inside of me at least one part who is still afraid and feeling helpless in the face of a universe that he’s sure is random and lonely. You see, this part remembers being home alone at age 13 with his younger brother and sister when a man knocked on the door. When the 13 year old opened the door, the man handed him a thick envelope and said: “Make sure your parents get this.”
It contained foreclosure papers and somehow this 13 year old knew what was inside and what this meant. He put the envelope on the dining room table and went to his room, angry at his parents and at his own helplessness and worried about what would come next.
This 13-year-old part still mistrusts the universe. It looks for every sign that things are just ready to unravel. It’s like 2pac, who in the attached image, was telling the interviewer that he’d been betrayed by the people closest to him. So, trust nobody!
And then there are many other parts who are so excited to surf the next wave of life and trust fully that whatever happens, the universe is holding me.
Consistently doing deep inner parts work allows us to hold ALL OF THIS. Nothing needs to be pushed away, ignored, repressed, avoided. I can be with the 13-year-old part and all of his anxiety, anger, and helplessness, and let him know he’s not alone; that I (the true self) am with him all the way. And I can also be with the parts that are feeling in the flow and ready to step into whatever’s next.
I’d love to hear about the parts you’re noticing coming up for you. Are there withdrawn, scared young parts that feel like they want to hold you back? Play it small and safe? Are there other parts that get so excited about stepping into something new and unknown? Do you also notice the deeper, calmer, expansive source of your true self that can hold it all?