Becoming the One: Healing Your Attachment Wounds Through IFS
“Becoming the One” is the title of a course I’m working in with the amazing Executive Matchmaker and Conscious Dating Coach, Sophy Singer. I’m still workshopping the title but I wanted to start to write about the course here in my newsletter to get feedback.
The aim of the course is to help people heal attachment wounds from childhood so that they can enter into adult romantic relationships NOT needing someone to “complete” them or fill deep emotional needs. Rather they can be ready to partner with an equal, locking arms as they face a shared horizon of life, not just growing old together, but forever growing together.
This is a different approach from the popular “attachment style” workshops and influencer advice spreading across social media since the publication of Attached. From the more mainstream attachment science perspective, our attachment styles are generally locked in from childhood and dictate how we partner; from this perspective, we are just as in need of attachment to a significant other in adulthood as we are in childhood.
The way we approach adult romantic relationships is quite different. We (of course!) are using Internal Family Systems to show people how:
their attachment styles come from young, wounded inner parts of themselves,
these young parts can be healed and helped to mature regardless of what happened in their childhood and the environment they were raised in,
when this happens, their attachment style is no longer an issue, and
they can meet their parts’ needs so that they don’t need to attach to an emotional savior, but can truly partner with an equal.
For those who are in search of a committed long term partnership, IFS can help them stop looking for the one who can meet their deepest emotional needs and realize they ARE THE ONLY ONE who can actually meet those needs. IFS helps us become the one we’ve been looking for by establishing a secure relationship between our True Self and our young, vulnerable parts. When this happens, we become effortlessly open to deeper connection and able to bring more of our whole, authentic self to dating and relationship building.
Through this 3- day workshop, we’re going to walk people through:
What attachment science does and doesn’t tell us about adult romantic relationships
What IFS is and how it works
How IFS can heal attachment wounds so that they don’t become our destiny
How we can move into finding a partner, nurturing a new relationship, or transforming a long- term one from a healed and Self-led place
So, this is what I’m working on! I’d love your feedback! What in this description resonates or lands flat? What would you like to hear more of? What would you really love to see in a workshop like this? I’d love to know!